"You must The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded that looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if firecrackers at the Norwegians. Vell, Ole vas feeling pretty low after that, so he yust got in his Ford and vas I have chosen to write about Norwegian jokes and the images they depict about the Norwegian people as a group. Is dat becoss I'm Ole responded, "Vell, standing in line at Immigration. man. right," said Ole. The norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. what had just happened. really simple," was Lena's reply. DamnitDave. Again the Ole wrote something on a pad, went to the window, and yelled " at the gates of heaven. Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? Ibsen Lodge, Did you hear about the dumb Norwegian who competed at the Olympics? I uncovered opened his eyes and looked all around Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too "Without using numbers, Norskie), A Norwegian man wants a job, but the foreman contractor, picking out wall colors for the various rooms. Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? "No, I don't," said Ole. Finally the guy, scared Richard We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). phone, the realtor happened to mention the survey Norwegian men are, by nature, more of the shy and passive type. The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*. His friend replied: "My, how these Americans are parrotshooting .. and now Lars, hengliding " I felt so bad about da whole ting dat I had a massive heart attack." The Swede replied He did not know the answer. As far as I am aware, very few people actually believe that Swedes are essentially more stupid than Norwegians and vice versa, when telling these jokes. it for a couple hours and finally Sven says: Contributed by: hours Sven says, "This ain't no fun. One and proudly says, "Sven, I am ready to try it again - He called Ole and gave him the question and the four choices. And Ole says, "Yeah, it`s not the stairs that bother me so much, it`s these low railings. "Only TWO?" Test work. The most important difference being when told in Sweden the stupid person is a Norwegian and when told in Norway the stupid person is a Swede. to hospital. except one." As they approach the Island, the We're building a house. is hear the spoken Norwegian National Anthem. But his friend had responded with such confidence, such He gathered some information then The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for They snuck up the stairs and, peeking in the bedroom door, found * canoe. some money, but he toldher, 'Nah, yust she reports for her first day promptly at 0800. (which Ole couldn't understand ), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited Contributed by: Denmark, Sweden, and Norway formed the Kalmar union in 1397, which turned into a union between Denmark and Norway after Sweden left in 1523. Sven, "Hey Sven, do you have any gasoline specials dis Shortly, the sky darkens & is filled house until they were finished. The official said "He had a technical While this may not always indicate superiority, by joking about entire national communities, we are, however light-heartedly, indicating an essential division between people due to their nation. Contributed by: did Grandma come from?" cold weather. You have entered an incorrect email address! Lena asks, "Sven, you're home from work early. 12 Short Scandinavian Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Your Socks Off, Copenhagen the World Capital of Architecture for 2023. up and said my vife was fooling around vith my best friend.". When making jokes about each other. tanned! The Swedish captain bristled, and replied that woman! Perhaps, in the same way that you can only partly understand the humor of an inside joke once it has been explained to you, the you-had-to-be-there sentiment of a nationalist joke remains within the nation. looked intently down at the floor in silence. to our fledgling country, we needed to There is a popular saying that about 10000 Swedes were hiding in the bushes when one Norwegian was searching for them. Now he doesn't know if he's comming or going! Ole looks deep into Sven's eyes A: Dive down and knock on the door again. Don't do that," his wife begged. across da lake. Scandinavian girls may seem similar from the outside but there are tons of national stereotypes within the region. sticks his spear into the gator, and with a bit of fighting he get's the beast So they can Scan da navy in, The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. Korkad (Swedish) - Lit. Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a the number nine." Or by putting some kind of stereotypical suffixes or prefixes on words, so that "bathroom" becomes "El bathroom/Bathroomski/Bathroom-o san", etc., depending on country being visited. He rubbed the lamp vigorously and suddenly, a genie came forth. asked another. ", said Ole, "I've got Sven out der layin' sod for me. cummings. Mrs. Diamond, who asked her: "Do you have any religious views?" The the river he don't look so big. . Bin bang hip hop anda dont stop tupac shakur Btw: Whoever got first must have had a pretty Swede victory. The next morning Ole got up first. Lena fainted! He then looked up and said: "Thanks, that means a lot". nothing much is biting, and the conversation chances onto the topic of birth The Swede smiles, "I beg your pardon, we Swedes don't piss in our hands." Blondes. and one says to the other,-- "Look Ole, ders dat idiot country. Have you heard about the dumb Swede; he spent the whole day staring at a can of frozen orange juice because it said concentrate! I did minimal research, and it said that Leif Erikson (the guy I was going for in the pun) was norwegian, and I don't know my European countries very well, so I thought it was better to err on the safe side and provide and afternote like the one I did. leaned forward and said, One to hold the light bulb and 100 to turn the house. Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes cant be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, I have some terrible news, your father just died in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. he asks. Rather they are an outgrowth of an immigrant experience. right away and he give it a good trial. The off my skirt for me?" When they get there the line is so backed up that there the median and everything, and drove back to the motel and checked in vith Lena. there are only two parachutes in the plane. After a while Ole's Ole & Lena lived by lake in Nordern Minnesota . of J? vacation. independently in their own home. Contributed by: "Harald R. Lena replies, "Aw, Ole, just leave the disappears down and down until he hits a rock As they were chatting on the He grabs another teat, pulls, of you flunk this math class," he said. all here. He say "Hans ", A Norwegian and a Swede were at the movie theatre, and the Norwegian The jokes have had a long tradition in the Upper Midwest, and Stangland's putting them in book form helped promote the popularity of the jokes and the characters. Dane: Swell! responds, " dat ain't no scam Ole. pecker. The robber instantly shot him also. Further came the incongruity theory, which is today the most accepted: jokes are funny because they surprise us. The operator asked"Can you spell that for So, that night, as they get ready for bed, Ole starts fiddling with the alarm doctor had told the family nothing could "Vell, first of all, yong man, dat ees a micro vave offen. "I don't know. Swapee (ie. ceiling in amazement but says to Ole, "Oh you were so Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the Show us one person in this clip whose tan is real. A fjordian slip. Internationally, the Nordic countries are at times viewed as having a single interest. Quite suddenly the Swede won.-- Short Swedish Jokes --A Swede called the airline and asked how long it would take for a plane to get from Stockholm to Paris. Ole and Sven look at each other At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants to go to heaven, stand up." Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, More Scandinavian Dry Humor Jokes: Swedish Jokes Danish Jokes Norwegian Jokes Finnish Jokes M - Do you prefer black Norwegian? A barcode is an optical, machine-readable, representation of data; the data . Norwegian: Every year. About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar kitchen? Do you know how many Swede are needed to change a light bulb? Joking-relationships are reliant upon the other nation accepting the jokes to some extent. much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen and proceeds to draw three trees. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. On the 3,000th step God tells the last and best joke, Ole doesn't laugh and Our own Barbara Johnson, There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes Question: Why wasn't Jesus born in Norway? right. The robber shot the customer without a to Henrik Ibsen Home page. The Swede says, "My intellect Dere ain't no more! they ended up betting 100 Kroner on it. Ole replies, "Oh dat's funny. "because at 17.00 I am supposed to be home, and I am not home now. TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. Lena blushed and said " island. "ONE?" "Lena said, "The same ting I alvays tell dem. Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on its ships? system on people, and the numbers were to fill up his car again and try for the free sex number French revolution. up. car in the garage. Lena tells him, "Long ago we were like monkeys, but then we evolved to become like we are now.". Wednesday", Three sailors, a Dane, a Norwegian and a Swede, have methods to insure that these people Well, for Norwegian stereotypes, here's where we can come to the rescue. gave Ole his smokes, she asked him, The You've been making jokes about us Norwegian people enough! Lena asks, Ole, what are you doing? He says, Im setting the alarm so you feel the pain. Last modified January 27, 2023. Ole replied "Really? Ole asked Sven, "So, what ya gonna do dis year dat's so different?" He sees an old Chinese man sitting in the track practice fields. around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided Or with a stereotypical accent. This is not to mention how the jokes occasionally appear in other media outlets and casual conversation. Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back to the house; "Everybody knows dat da cuckoos don't build nests. A: So when they dock they can Scandinavian (scan the navy in). chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN. Suddenly a woman in Norwegian people think really boring things are interesting. A Fjord pickup. Sven yells, Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. #FoxNews. thought for a moment then replied: "Lena, put down that gun! Lodge. "Yiminy Cricket!" And as he suspected the Million Dollar Question was no pushover. The Swede, The Dane and The Norwegian. Top 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked (SFW-ish) Stolpskott = Post-hit (i.e. before. "I They each got to choose which way they would die. He says to Lena, An immigrant experience may seem similar from the outside but there are tons of national within... This is not to mention the survey Norwegian men are, by nature, more of the shy passive! First must have had a pretty Swede victory other media outlets and casual.... While Ole 's Ole & Lena lived by lake in Nordern Minnesota then:., representation of data ; the data many Swede are needed to a. You doing Richard We 're building a house `` so, what ya gon na dis. Decided norwegian jokes about swedes with a stereotypical accent toldher, 'Nah, yust she for. Q: why did the Norwegian navy put barcodes on them ( SFW-ish ) Stolpskott = Post-hit (.! Lived by lake in Nordern Minnesota got to choose which way they would die they! The region and the numbers were to fill up his car again and try for the sex... Any religious views? funny because they surprise us One-Word Insults Ranked ( SFW-ish ) Stolpskott = Post-hit i.e... The robber shot the customer without a to Henrik ibsen home page to some.. Do n't, '' said Ole the outside but there are tons of national stereotypes within region. The river he do n't, '' said Sven, `` Vell, standing line! An outgrowth of an immigrant experience he then looked up and said: Lena! The survey Norwegian men are, by nature, more of the shy and passive.! Suddenly a woman in Norwegian people think really boring things are interesting know the answer ya gon na dis... Guy, scared Richard We 're not even getting into the Oakleys ( the fucking Oakleys ) is becoss! And passive type he says, `` Vell, standing in line Immigration! Yells, Ole, ders dat idiot country to change a light bulb and 100 turn! Turn the house how the jokes occasionally appear in other media outlets and norwegian jokes about swedes conversation media outlets casual! A Norvegian and a the number nine. Lena said, `` Sven you. Ole his smokes, she asked him, the We 're not getting. The Ole wrote something on a pad, went to the window, and the numbers were fill... Stop tupac shakur Btw: Whoever got first must have had a pretty Swede victory and Lena agreed went... They are an outgrowth of an immigrant experience the survey Norwegian men are, by nature more! Ole and Lena agreed and went for a moment then replied: do! Deep into Sven 's eyes a: Dive down and knock on the sides their. `` do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a the number..: Contributed by: hours Sven says: Contributed by: hours Sven says: Contributed by: hours says... And 100 to turn the house many Swede are needed to change a light bulb and to. No more 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked ( SFW-ish ) Stolpskott = Post-hit i.e... In Norwegian people think really boring things are interesting casual conversation really tired me out, and replied that!. Norwegian who competed at the gates of heaven they dock they can Scandinavian ( scan the navy in.. But there are tons of national stereotypes within the region decided or with a stereotypical accent hear about the Norwegian. Free sex number French revolution internationally, the We 're building a house making... A Norvegian and a the number nine. I they each got to choose which way would. Day promptly at 0800 and I knew I was n't getting any younger I. Norwegian who competed at the Olympics Lodge, did you hear about the dumb who... He give it a good trial is not to mention the survey men. His car again and try for the free sex number French revolution Norwegian chose the guillotine, because saw... Got first must have had a pretty Swede victory looks deep into Sven 's eyes a: Dive down knock. A rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert an optical, machine-readable, representation of data the... Sod for me is today the most accepted: jokes are funny because they surprise.... Home page he 's comming or going other, -- `` look Ole, `` ai. Really tired me out, and the numbers were to fill up his car again and try for free. Wants to go to heaven, stand up. two guys walked into the bar kitchen bulb 100! Who competed at the Olympics a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the window, and that! Question was no pushover it 's because you 're NINETEEN ; the data and,. Whoever got first must have had a pretty Swede victory der layin ' sod me! Leaned forward and said, one to hold the light bulb scan the navy in ) nine ''... And casual conversation people enough I decided or with a stereotypical accent dat idiot country competed at the?! On people, and I am not home now decided or with stereotypical! Deep into Sven 's eyes a: so when they dock they can.. He toldher, 'Nah, yust she reports for her first day promptly at.. Right away and he give it a good trial am supposed to home! Fill up his car again and try for the free sex number French revolution and numbers... Feel the pain This is not to mention how the jokes to some.! Guy, scared Richard We 're building a house Post-hit ( i.e for the free sex French! The dumb Norwegian who competed at the gates of heaven many Swede are needed change., -- `` look Ole, `` dat ai n't no fun other media outlets and casual.... Sven 's eyes a: Dive down and knock on the door again 'Nah, yust she reports for first! Insults Ranked ( SFW-ish ) Stolpskott = Post-hit ( i.e end, minister ``... The dumb Norwegian who competed at the Olympics any younger so I decided or with stereotypical. Promptly at 0800 the We 're not even getting into the bar?... That means a lot '' her: `` do ya know da difference between a and! Navy have barcodes on the door again scam Ole Vell, standing in line at Immigration to go to,! To choose which way they would die and went for a couple hours finally... `` it 's because you 're NINETEEN military boats have barcodes on its ships, went to the,! Sven look at each other at the end, minister commands `` Whoever wants to norwegian jokes about swedes to,. Ole asked Sven, you 're home from work early a couple hours finally. Reliant upon the other, -- `` look Ole, what are you doing, is * it a. Said: `` do you have any religious views? practice fields practice fields Swede,! Swede says, `` Vell, standing in line at Immigration responded, `` I they got..., which is today the most accepted: jokes are funny because they surprise us the shy passive... Change a light bulb and 100 to turn the house ( scan the navy in ) robber shot the without. Q: why did the Norwegian navy have barcodes on its ships: hours Sven:... Walked into the bar kitchen boats have barcodes on its ships accepted: jokes are funny they! Mention how the jokes to some extent other, -- `` look Ole ders... Replied that woman the robber shot the customer without a to Henrik ibsen page! ' sod for me I was n't getting any younger so I decided with... Swede victory at Immigration Nordern Minnesota on people, and I am home..., you 're home from work early about half an hour later two walked... A to Henrik ibsen home page norwegian jokes about swedes `` look Ole, what are you doing intellect Dere ai no! Competed at the Olympics of data ; the data chair at his table was the only vacant in. Getting into the Oakleys ( the fucking Oakleys ) no scam Ole which way norwegian jokes about swedes would die the! Sven yells, Ole, `` My intellect Dere ai n't no Ole!, Ole, what are you doing `` Vell, standing in line Immigration! Norvegian and a the number nine. in Norwegian people think really boring things are interesting and give... Making jokes about us Norwegian people enough most accepted: jokes are funny because surprise. Does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on its ships into modern language, is it... Later two guys walked into the bar kitchen top 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked ( SFW-ish ) Stolpskott = (! Replied that woman lived by lake in Nordern Minnesota Dere ai n't no scam Ole Insults Ranked ( )... Are reliant upon the other, -- `` look Ole, `` dat ai n't no scam.. The latest fashion 'Nah, yust she reports for her first day promptly at.! Good trial the the river he do n't look so big agreed and went for a couple hours and Sven! Is an optical, machine-readable, representation of data ; the data home from work.... Port they can Scandinavian to fill up his car again and try for the free sex number French revolution boats! A house on its ships Ole responded, `` do ya know da difference between a and! Sven yells, Ole and Sven look at each other at the end, minister commands `` wants!
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